Have you ever experienced culture shock in ministry?
Maybe you’ve traveled to another country and realized the stuff they taught you in those mission trip prep meetings did not really prepare you for the differences that you were going to face in the food, or the climate, or the way schedules work in other countries. Or perhaps your family has relocated to a new church or ministry assignment and you just feel like you’ve moved to a foreign country!
Since our topic today is How to Survive Culture Shock, I asked a friend of mine, pastor’s wife Gaye Ramsey, to talk with me about this because of her experience. Here’s our conversation…
Janet:
Over the last couple of years, Gaye moved from her home state to another part of the country and had to adapt to a different type of ministry that they’re doing, as well as a new environment. But before we talk about that, I wanted you all to get to know her a little bit. So Gaye, why don’t you tell us some about what being married to the ministry looks like for you?
Gaye:
Well, I think that being married to the ministry has changed over time. My husband and I have been married for 35 years, and we jumped right into ministry right after we got married 35 years ago. Actually, our anniversary was yesterday.
Janet:
Well, congratulations.
Gaye:
And I think that from being from the first church that we were at to where he is now, the state executive director for the West Virginia Baptist Convention, there have been a lot of different ministry avenues that we have traveled. And I think that being married in the ministry with him has been adventurous and has been sometimes spontaneous, and sometimes has been rough, but also has been very lots of joy, and has been included in all of the things that we’ve seen lives changed.
Janet:
Okay. So I know he’s worked for the North American Mission Board.
Gaye:
Yes. So when we first got married, we were on staff at a church in Hot Springs, Arkansas. And then we went to Glen Rose, Texas, where he was on staff while he was going to seminary. And then we went to Kansas, First Baptist Church-Haysville. Then we went to the North American Mission Board, he was there for nine years. And then we went into Mission Evangelism for nine years. And then he was on staff at First Baptist Church Fort Smith. And now, we’re in West Virginia. So it’s been lots of different places.
Janet:
Well, you’ve hit several different states in that journey, it sounds like.
Gaye:
Yes, I would say I’m a nomad.
Janet:
Okay. Well, you said you’ve had some joys, so let’s talk about that. What are some blessings that you’ve experienced as being a pastor’s wife?
Gaye:
I think one of the biggest blessings is being able to see my husband do what he does best in each of the positions that he has held, whether it’s been in the pastorate, or been the North American Mission Board, or being a mission leader, all the things that he has been able to do, and that I get to work beside him. I think each of those roles have been different, but yet, each of those roles have included encouraging pastors. And that’s one of the things that we have loved doing together, has been able to encourage other pastors or other people in ministry, because I know that growing up as a pastor’s daughter, that I also understand what it’s like to be a pastor’s kid.
So I think it’s all those things. My husband also grew up as a pastor’s kid, and we understand some of the dynamics that happen in ministry life, and so we love to be able to encourage others. But I think that the blessing for me is to be able to see when we can love on a pastor’s family, and that can help them move to the next place or they can function better where they are.
Janet:
Okay. And I guess, as the convention director in your state, the executive in West Virginia, that’s part of your role there, I guess, is supporting the pastors who are serving in the churches in West Virginia?
Gaye:
Yes. Every week, Eric has a meeting with pastors and director of missions. He has two separate meetings with them, and to encourage them. But then I try to travel with him when he goes and preaches different places so that I can also encourage and love on the pastor’s wife, because I know that sometimes, they just need someone to talk to, they need someone to pray with them, and sometimes they need a hug. So I enjoy being able to do that.
Janet:
Okay. Well, sometimes, there are challenges, I guess, or struggles in ministry. Talk to us about that, what kind of things have you all found to be challenging or that you’ve really had to ask the Lord, “Ugh, help me in this.”
Gaye:
Well, I would say, probably, one challenge happened right after we got married. We went to a church, and I’m not going to say which church or where it was, but I will say that he was a youth pastor back then, and we had invited lots of kids to come to the service. And some of the kids that were from across the tracks came and accepted the Lord. But some of the people in the church did not want to baptize them to the church because they didn’t have that kind in their church. And that was very difficult for me because I’ve always thought that we should always accept everyone. And it was a sad time because they actually fired Eric over that. But the Lord sent us to another church, and that was a very loving church, and we had a wonderful experience there. And the pastor was very much so of reaching out to whomever to come.
And so that was a growing time. And I think that was a huge challenge for me, as a new minister’s wife, to be able to understand sometimes church dynamics, because we don’t always understand why people in the church won’t be accepting or they’re not always loving to others that are outside of the church-
Janet:
Because that’s the point.
Gaye:
That’s the point. I think that was a huge challenge for me and my relationship with people in the church, but to also understand that that’s not how everyone’s heart is. So that was a good time and a growing time for us during those first few years of ministry.
And then later on, when my husband was in mission evangelism, we were in a lot of churches. We actually owned a fifth wheel, and we lived in that fifth wheel close to 30 weeks out of the year. We homeschooled our children, and we were driving across the country and doing lots of events in different churches, encouraging churches to be on mission. But it was also a difficult time financially because we were raising our own finances during that time, and we didn’t always have the money that we needed to be able to sometimes take care of just some basic things.
And we had built our own little place up in the mountains. It was a small metal building that we put half of… well, part of it was a garage, and the other half, we actually designed a place for us to live when we could be home. And so it was just a little 2-story apartment and it was up in the mountains. We had bought property up in the northwest part of Arkansas. And during one of the times that Eric was overseas on a mission trip, my kids and I were there and we had two ice storms and snow storms back to back. My husband had chopped a lot of wood, and when he came home, and it was all gone. I said, “You don’t understand. It was very cold and it didn’t get above 25 degrees the whole time you were gone.”
But anyway, during that time, we realized we were stuck, we needed a four-wheel drive pickup truck, but we didn’t have the finances. And I really began to pray and I said, “Lord, this is a need that we have and I know that you provide, and you always provide and give us what we need.” And we went to a church about three weeks after that. And while we were there, the pastor said, “How can I pray for you?” And I said, “Well, we need a four-wheel drive pickup truck. He said, “Well, can we pray for something a little bit more attainable?”
And I was like, “Well, I think everything’s attainable to God.” And he said, “Well, let’s pray.” So we did. And he said, during that prayer, the Lord tapped him on the shoulder and said, “You’re going to provide the pickup truck.” And long story short, his son had to go to drug rehab and they had his pickup truck. And he said he sat in that truck two days before that said, “Lord, what do you want me to do with this pickup truck?” And he said, and when I asked him, “Can we pray for that,” the Lord said to him, “This is what I want you to do with that four-wheel drive pickup truck.”
So anyway, he announced in church that Sunday to his congregation that they were going to buy four new tires for that truck, and they were going to get it all fixed up for us, and they were going to give us that truck. And I think it was a time that it was also for our children who were with us to see that God provides, he always can meet our needs, and he always can provide for us in the small things, but also in the larger things that we need. And in ministry, sometimes we forget that we serve the God who created the world. He created every aspect of who we are, and he loves us, and he wants to provide for us.
Janet:
That’s a perfect example of going beyond what we can think or imagine. They not only gave you the truck, they gave you new tires for the truck, and to make sure it was in good condition and safe. And you think about that pastor, he didn’t automatically jump at that, he had to let the Lord prompt him to do that. And he obeyed, and his act of obedience stirred his church up to be more generous, and then the tangible, practical need that they met for you all. And then like you said, the lesson your kids learned about this is the God that we serve, who does something… He heard our prayers, he gave us exactly what we needed. And they’ll never forget that.
Gaye:
No. And they still don’t. And just to let you know, we still have that truck.
Janet:
Well, that was a great deal then.
Gaye:
It sits in our driveway, and we use it a lot of times when we were just needing to go pick up something for the yard. It has a lot of miles on it, but it’s still a really great truck. And it’s just a great reminder, when I see it, that God will answer my prayer, and I really believe that He takes care of our needs. And sometimes in ministry, maybe we’re struggling financially, and we don’t always understand how we’re going to pay that bill or we’re going to do that, but I do know that we can trust the Lord because He does take care of our needs.
Janet:
He does. Well, thanks for sharing that. Well, let’s shift to our main topic for today. I did a little Googling on culture shock because I wanted to make sure I had the definitions straight in my head, and it must be true because I read it on the internet. But it said, “Culture shock is when you feel disoriented because you are in an unfamiliar culture, or way of life, or dealing with an unfamiliar set of attitudes.” And I like the word disoriented because that really is what it feels like. Like when we moved here, we’ve been here a year now, there is no Kroger. And I have shopped at Kroger my entire life. And yes, there are other grocery stores, but I feel disoriented having to learn new brands and learn new-
Gaye:
And I’m with you on that because we shopped at Kroger when we lived in Georgia. And when we moved here, for the time that we lived here, I felt exactly the same way.
Janet:
But it’s been traumatic. So that’s culture shock, and it might hit you different ways. But in our journey, Greg was a pastor, and he left a church to join our state convention office. And so I did not realize I was going to have some culture shock just in his job change, because I went from being Mrs. Pastor, who was in church all the time, to all of a sudden now, he was doing interim supply preaching at a different church every week, and I was just a Sunday morning visitor basically, every week. And that was a shock to me, the feeling of disorientation and constantly being unfamiliar surroundings. We’re in church every week, and every week, we’re singing songs I had never heard before.
So you don’t have to necessarily move to experience culture shock, it can just be a change in your job.
So how was the transition for you all? Because I know you all were at a church, on staff at a church, in a staff position, Eric was not the lead pastor, but now you all have moved to a convention job where he is the executive, he’s the lead executive in the state.
Gaye:
Yeah. I would say that, yes, there’s definitely culture shock. When we moved to West Virginia, it was right when the pandemic hit. So that even added to all the cultural shock things because you had the mask, you had separation, it was hard to build relationships with people. Even the churches that we went to, when he was supply preaching, there was very little greeting because people were so afraid, so that was very difficult. And then going with him every Sunday, I did that for about a year, anytime he would be supply preaching. But it got to the point that I needed to have a place where I could minister myself. So we found a church that we could join, and I had become part of the priest team. I don’t sing on the priest team, but maybe once a month, but at least I can do that.
And I joined a Bible study, that was the biggest thing that I did. I wanted to find a women’s Bible study. And of course during COVID, they weren’t having them. So that was really hard. It took about a year, and then our church started having a ladies Bible study. And being a part of that was really necessary for me in dealing with the culture shock so that I could get to know people in that culture, because it is different. I will say that the people in West Virginia are loving and friendly, but there are many differences, even-
Janet:
Well, and you left the second largest city in Arkansas, which is still not a huge city, but it’s a city and-
Gaye:
Well, where we live now is between two large cities. So the town that we live in now is 30 minutes from the capital, and then it’s 30 minutes from another town, which is a college town. So there’s lots of things to do. And where we are, there’s some basic things, but to really to go shopping or do anything, get anything that we really need, it’s 30 to 35 minute drive. So that’s very different for me, and that was very hard. And one of the strangest things that I would say the culture shock is going to be, the roads are very narrow. I don’t like driving on the narrow roads because it makes me very nervous. There’s no space-
Janet:
Well, and they’re windy and hilly. I’ve driven in West Virginia and lots of windy, narrow, hilly roads.
Gaye:
Gaye’s right–West Virginia DOES look like a smushed frog!
Yes. And so that was very hard. And I think that one thing that I’ve seen about culture as far as different locations, in West Virginia is very different, because of where West Virginia is centered. If you would look at the map, I know this sounds funny, but to me, if you look at the way West Virginia is shaped, it looks like a frog that’s been run over by a truck!
Janet:
Okay, I’m going to have to get a map and look at that!
Gaye:
You have to see how it looks. But that’s what it looks like to me. But because you have areas of West Virginia that is really close to Washington DC, so that area is very different than even where I live, because I live close to the Kentucky line. And then down by the coal fields is another different culture. And then you have another area up near Detroit, which is a totally different culture as well. So I think that, as we have been there now, three years, during that time, we have been able to understand those different cultures. They worship different at the churches, the way that they greet people is different. It’s just very different everywhere you go in West Virginia. And it’s been an eyeopening experience for me. I’ve never lived in a place where it’s so versatile in culture. But yeah, I would say it was a shock to me because… I don’t know, being so far away from home, not knowing anyone trying to join a church, but it was COVID… Just so many things.
Janet:
Well, people talk about towns that maybe 20 miles down the road, I don’t have any frame of reference where they’re talking about.
Gaye:
I still am working on that.
Janet:
Yeah. Having to learn who the governor is, all the political things, every single aspect of life, you’re totally unfamiliar with it.
Gaye:
Right. And it really is.
Janet:
You go to vote, you don’t have a clue who to vote for. That kind of stuff.
Gaye:
Right. Trying to just find all the different places that you can go and trying to research. And now, I know where the best restaurants are. And even basic things like that, where do you go eat? Where’s a good place to go eat? You don’t always know-
Janet:
Well, you have to get a new doctor, and you have to find a new gynecologist. So we had to learn, you get established with the doctor right off, because you can’t be sick and not have a doctor because nobody will let you in. So just things like that, that all adds to the sense of being disoriented and a constant reminder that I’m not from here. And even if the people don’t treat you that way… Now, we have lived in some communities where we were never going to be a part of that community because we weren’t from there.
Gaye:
And that’s how it is in West Virginia.
Janet:
Very close-knit, strong, generations of family ties, kind of thing.
Gaye:
I’m from the south and I love to open my home. I love to have people over. I love to cook. So that’s one of the joys of my life. And I love to have people over and be hospitable, but that’s not the norm. People feel uncomfortable in West Virginia doing that and-
Janet:
Going to someone’s house or having someone in their house?
Gaye:
I think, both. I’ve had another pastor’s wife that’s a friend of mine. She and I have discussed this because she’s not from West Virginia either. And she said that when she would ask her church members, “Would you like to come over and have dinner?” They said, “Are we in trouble?” And that was their first thought, that the pastor wants to-
Janet:
It had a negative connotation.
Gaye:
Right. She said, “No, I just want to have you over to get to know you better and to fellowship with you.’ And that has been my issue, inviting people over. I have had many of the pastors, as many as I can, I would love to have more. And over time, it’s just hard to get people on the same schedule.
But I think that that was something very uncomfortable for them. And one lady, friend of mine, she said, “Well, I don’t know if I have a good enough home. I would not want to have someone come to my home.” And I think maybe sometimes people feel that way instead of just saying, “This is my home and I want to invite you over.” I feel like the home that I have is a blessing from the Lord. And to me, ministering to people by having them in your home is part of what I’m supposed to do as a minister’s wife.
Not all minister’s wives feel that way. There might be some that might be a little uncomfortable with that. But that is how I can minister to someone, is by having them over, getting to know them better, I can pray for them better, and building relationships with people. And sometimes when you go into a new culture, that’s how you get to know them. Many cultures surround food, they surround the table. When you think about all the different cultures around the world even, having time at the table is very important.
Janet:
Well, and in some countries, it is considered extremely rude to not eat what they offer you, even if it looks funny, or smells funny, or tastes funny because that’s their way of connecting with you, and blessing you, and sharing some of themselves with you. And so it’s rude to reject that.
Gaye:
Well, I think it’s part of their culture to have conversation and relationships, that while you’re eating, you’re fellowshipping. I see that Jesus did that with his disciples. And so when we have people over, it’s just my opportunity to get to know them, ask them questions, and then them ask us questions, get to know who we are. And I think it’s my moment to be real. I think that’s something important, that we show that we are human, we’re in ministry, and we’re not perfect. We still make mistakes and have issues just like everyone else, but be able to show, through testimony, what God has done for us and how he has changed our lives. And a lot of times, that happens when you can have a personal time with people. And that’s just really important to me, to be hospitable. And so-
Janet:
Well, it’s a very powerful tool for reaching other people. And the Bible talks about hospitality. And I think, as Christians, we don’t do that as much as we should anymore. We don’t take advantage of that mechanism for ministering to people as often as we should because we do feel uncomfortable about, well, my house isn’t clean, or if my furniture’s not really nice, or I’m not a great cook, or those kinds of things. I’ve invited people over before, we’ve just had grilled cheese and apple slices and it didn’t really matter. We had nice conversation, got to know people, and you serve them on paper plates and that really lowers the pressure of, “Oh, well, I’ve got to have China,” and all that, to have somebody over for dinner. No.
Gaye:
For example, we have a minister’s wives retreat that we do every year, and everybody brings food. And so when I brought my food, I bring it in a container, but then I put it in a really pretty container when I get it there. And somebody made a comment, “Well, I don’t have a really pretty container, but here’s my food.” And I don’t even think anything about that because that’s just what I do. But I have to realize that part of their culture is like they just put it out there. But that’s okay. I’m more of a fancy person.
Janet:
Well, since I am calling this How To Survive Culture Shock, what are some other things that you might have found helpful to help you survive or begin to build a home when you all have moved?
Gaye:
One of the first things I did was look at a map because I wanted to be able to see where we were and where we would be traveling. And I think that’s because I wanted to understand the geography of what the state was, because I know where we live, it’s not the prettiest part of the state. When you drive about 40 minutes, it’s like all of a sudden, these mountains come out of nowhere and they’re just massive mountains, and they’re absolutely beautiful. But having a map was very important to me.
And then I’m a foodie. So I think learning culture through food is important. And the food in West Virginia is different than here. You think about some of the basic foods that they like is different than where I grew up.
And I guess just learning about the people and the background of West Virginia. There’s a lot of history in West Virginia as far as the civil war. Lots of civil war happened in West Virginia. So I think that that has also shaped who a lot of the people are through the years. And they’re very family focused, and I don’t know, spending time with them. Like I said before, just trying to understand them from the perspective of where they are in the state and how they’re doing ministry.
But as for me, personally, I will say that West Virginia is wonderful, but it has been a struggle for me. The first year, I cried a lot. It was hard because of COVID. It was really hard. And then moving away from my family was really hard.
Janet:
Well, I know when we moved, we left our home church to go to our very first church where we pastored. It was only a hundred miles away from our hometown, but it might as well have been a hundred thousand miles because it was across the state line and the people talked different, their accents were different, their wording of things were different. I had come from a situation where most of the women my age did not work. We were home with the kids and everybody in our new place worked. And so that made making friends hard.
And my kids, they really had a hard time adjusting to that first place too, because kids infiltrating established friend groups, or established sports teams, our kids could play sports where they were. And now, the sports at this new school is totally different, and all those kinds of things. Finding your place is hard when you move to a new place, especially if you’re not one of them.
Gaye:
It is, and I remember all the places we’ve lived and taken our kids, same thing. I think that it’s not that it’s easier for us as an adults, but it’s harder when you have kids and you’re moving somewhere that is new to them, because they have to feel like they start over. When we moved from Georgia to Arkansas, widely different cultures, very different from moving where there was a larger city, living on the mountain in Arkansas, very, very different for our kids. I think one of the biggest things is to find something for your kids that is of interest of them, that they can be involved with others, people their own age. And I think that was very important.
We had to find a church. A lot of people, when you go to be on staff at a church, that’s your church. But then sometimes, when you’re in a situation and you’re moving to another state to do a different job, we had to find a church… When we went to West Virginia, and we moved from Georgia to Arkansas, we had to find a church. And so that’s very different too when you’re trying to find a church that fits your family.
Janet:
Yeah. And the church we left, of course, was Adrian Rogers’ church, we had no problems at all LOL!. I’m saying that facetiously, but looking back on it now, it was almost like a Camelot, just so much was healthy and strong and good. And for some reason, God tapped Greg to fix broken churches. So every church that we have pastored, we come in after a traumatic split, and lots of wounded people, lots of angry people, lots of rebuilding. So my children, we took them out of one of the greatest churches in the world and put them in all these broken churches, where people were still fighting and critical. And that was a culture shock. And I had to keep reminding them and myself, “God called us here and your dad has a God assignment to be here.” But to an eight-year old who’s miserable, and a mama who’s grieving because her eight-year old is miserable, that’s a hard place to be.
And you do have to find other ways to compensate, do new things. Because when you’re in a difficult situation and lots of people go to a church assignment and then find out, “Okay, this is not exactly what we thought we were agreeing to.” And it can be hard, and then you’re stuck but praying through it. People always say kids are so resilient, but there was a season where every Wednesday night after church, the kids and I would come home and we’d cry for a while before Greg got home. So that’s part of it too. Sometimes you have to cry through it until it gets better.
Gaye:
Yes. Now, when we moved from Georgia to Arkansas, our kids cried a lot. We moved them from their friends, moving away from them to a place that they had never been before and trying to figure out where they fit. And I think one of the things that really helped them a lot, this is when we were in mission evangelism, was we got a guitar for our son and Eric taught him some basic things on guitar. So the churches that we would go to, he learned, just from watching on the internet, just videos on the internet, how to play guitar. And so he started helping leading worship. And our daughter would sing and he would play, and we would allow them to do that. Was it perfect? No, it wasn’t perfect, but it gave them an opportunity to see that they could also be a part of ministry. And that’s awesome-
Janet:
Well, it gave them a sense of ownership, to have a part.
Gaye:
I have a part. Because they gave up a lot for our family to do what we were doing in ministry, and they gave up a lot for us to move. And it gave them an opportunity to say, “Okay,” then the Lord has called our family to ministry. It’s not just about them calling, “Dad, our whole family is in this together.” And that’s really how we wanted our kids to feel. And I think, sometimes, when we have to move and we have to go somewhere new, that it’s important that we allow our kids to see that it’s something that God has called our family to do. I think that was important, and trying to find out where our kids can best fit in that part of ministry with us. So that’s what we wanted to do. And yeah, I really encourage other people that their kids struggle with a move, or they struggle where they are to just find out how their kids can also be a part of what they’re doing.
Janet:
Yeah, that’s one thing that I did learn, I did not learn it the first time, but I think the second time we moved, maybe I did better, but you can’t just always grieve what you left behind. You’ve got to look for the good, which is going to be different. It’s going to be unfamiliar, but you’ve got to embrace the adventure attitude! And yes, you can miss the things that you loved that you don’t have anymore, but there will be new things and you just have to look for them and find them. And then appreciate those things.
You can’t just always grieve what you left behind. You’ve got to look for the good, which is going to be different. It’s going to be unfamiliar, but you’ve got to embrace the adventure attitude!–Janet
Gaye:
And when that first year was hard, I don’t think ministry is ever easy, but I think that as time has gone on, I’ve been able to find things of how I can work alongside Eric and what he does in ministering to pastors, and I can minister to the wives. And so I oversee the minister’s wives ministry for the convention. And we’ve made some changes and things that we’ve done there. And I really feel like that I’ve had opportunity to plan things that have been encouraging to those pastor’s wives. And I look forward to my time with them. I look forward to my time where I can encourage them and uplift them through the music that we choose, the speaker we choose, whatever. I love doing that because I think that is very important because I know how much pastors wives give, they give so much in time to their church, and to their husbands. And when we all come together, I want them to have an opportunity to be refreshed and renewed, and to understand that they’re cared for and they’re loved on.
Janet:
Anything else you want to add for something you might have done that helped you adjust to a new community?
Gaye:
I’m very appreciative of all the people that have gone the extra mile to just accept us and love on us. There’s just been certain people that… there’s a lady that leads the Bible study, and even from the very beginning, she took the time to drive over to the convention building and bring me my Bible study book and just encourage me to come and be a part of them. And that’s been very important to me. And she’s always so encouraging about coming, “Come and be part of us,” and she sends me messages and says that she’s praying for me. It’s those people like that that have been encouraging to me and have shown care for me through, I don’t know, moving and being away from my family, and being in a different place that I don’t really feel like has been home, but it’s where God has called us to minister.
Janet:
Well, and you’re talking about being away from your family and friends. When we first moved, and I was really struggling because everything was so different, I finally hung a bunch of pictures in the hallway of people from back home. And that helped so much just being able to see their faces. That was back when collage frames-
Gaye:
I still have a lot of those.
Janet:
Yeah. Well now, I’m an Instagram ad sucker, and so I’ve been seeing all these mix tile frames, pictures. So I’ve invested in mix tiles here and I love them. But just having pictures of the people that you left behind, that helps.
Gaye:
I think that’s a great idea.
Janet:
That helped me.
Gaye:
Well, and I think Facebook helps me too, because I keep in contact with so many people.
Janet:
And one positive of COVID was, now, we all are quite proficient on Zoom, so video chatting with people has become very easy.
Gaye:
Yes. I’m very thankful for FaceTime because I do FaceTime my family a lot, and that way, I can at least talk to my grandbabies and see my kids. And so that’s good. But I do love what my husband does, and I feel very honored that God has called us to that position that we can love and care for pastors and their wives.
Janet:
Well, and that’s the bottom line, especially when you know that God has called you somewhere. As Christians, we’re not ever supposed to be comfortable in this world wherever we are, even when you’re in your hometown with your mama close by. Because once we become Christ followers, this is not our home anymore, this is where we are until God calls us home. And eventually we get past the shock of, “Huh, this feels uncomfortable, this feels unfamiliar.”
I’m still, after a year, following the little blue line on my phone! And whenever I don’t turn the GPS on my phone and I think I can get there, I’ve been there 42 times, every single time I get lost.
Gaye:
Oh, I will probably always use the GPS where we live, because the roads are windy and none of them make sense. It’s hard.
Janet:
Yes! I get so busy singing or whatever, I totally lose track of where I am. But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He doesn’t call us to feel at home. He calls us to spread the gospel, to disciple other people, to minister to other people, to care. So really, I think we can allow ourselves a short little season of, “Oh, I’m really sad because I miss where I was and I don’t feel at home where I am.” But then we just have to get past that and do what God called us to do.
Gaye:
Yeah. And I see that, for such a time as this, for sure, that this is where we’re supposed to be. And I think that you’re right, I think that you have to understand that the joy’s going to come from the Lord and what you do. It’s not going to always be where you are.
The joy’s going to come from the Lord and what you do. It’s not going to always be where you are.–Gaye
Janet:
In Philippians 4:11 Paul says, “I have learned in whatever state I am in to be content.” And I’ve lived in some states that I was not content to be in.
Gaye:
Yes, I have too.
Janet:
But Paul said, “I have learned to be content.” And it’s a choice.
Gaye:
It’s a choice. You’re right. You’re right. And I have friends now in West Virginia. I have a home church, I get to serve from time to time at that church. And I get to serve along Eric with him as he goes and ministers in other churches in the state. And it’s a blessing. It really is a blessing to wherever we’re going.
Janet:
Well, and ministry is wonderful. When Greg was a lawyer, I didn’t get to do anything with him. I didn’t get to go to work with him, I didn’t get to help him try cases, and all that kind of stuff. But ministry is one of the few things that you are a partner with your husband in ministry. And that’s a wonderful thing.
Gaye:
And Eric and I love being partners with each other. And he always says that he loves it when I go with him because I make him feel more comfortable around people sometimes, because I can have conversations with people and ask questions, and he doesn’t always know what to say or ask. So we work really well together. And to me, being in ministry, there are difficulties, but there’s so many blessings, and I wouldn’t want to do anything else.
Janet:
Well, ladies, if you are in a new place and you are needing something that feels familiar or just a daily word of encouragement, CLICK HERE for the Daily Heartbeat from Love Worth Finding. That’s just going to be a little daily email with some encouragement from scripture.
Gaye, thank you for sharing some of your story with us today, and a lot of wisdom into how to survive adjusting to a new place and culture shock trauma. So thank you.
Gaye:
It was a blessing to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me.
Janet:
Yeah. And to all you pastor wives out there, I’m so glad you joined us today too. Sometimes, we just need to have honest talk about some of these real challenges that are part of the life when you’re married to a minister.
So…have you found a way to survive culture shock?
If you have tips to share for how to make transitions easier that you’ve experienced with your family, we’d love for you to share them with us. Maybe leave a comment on one of our social pages, Instagram or Facebook. Or if you have a friend in ministry who’s trying to adjust to a new situation, and maybe she’s struggling with that, why don’t you share this conversation with her. How wonderful it is when sisters in Christ can minister to one another through encouragement!
Let me close today by reminding you of our theme verse for Married to the Ministry. It’s Luke 1:6, “And they were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.”
So until next time, friend, let’s keep loving Jesus, loving our husbands, and loving our people. 